Not pigeonride related… Got a chat request from a random stranger on skype, decided to play along…
Jessie Justice: 25/F here.. u?
(ME): are you a bot?
Jessie Justice: lol are you a bot??? that’s a no btw
Jessie Justice: oh ok so whats up?
(ME): not much, just playing with my train set, u?
Jessie Justice: ahh well i was just checkin my inbox on Just Hook Up, i got out of a relationship a few months back and im sick of going out and meeting guys at clubs.
Jessie Justice: my friend told me about it and i was like yeah i dont know about all that lol, but in all honesty i really like it and i’ve met some really cool people from there too. do u have a profile anywhere or any pics?
(ME): my mom doesn’t let me use social media because she says its filled with bad people
Jessie Justice: i actually just finished uploading some new pics from last weekend if u wanna see?
(ME): are they of cute animals?
Jessie Justice: ok here’s my profile [some bit.ly link probably to a porn site] that has my photos there. u might have to sign in to see them like on facebook i’m not sure but u should sign up anyway
Jessie Justice: it only takes a couple seconds and it’s totally free, no credit card or anything stupid like that. plus i can send you a friend request and we can get to know each other better
(ME): I AM FUCKING 9 YEARS OLD!
Jessie Justice: Once u do shoot me your username so i can send u a friend request also….
(ME): i like turtles
An open letter to porn bot makers:
Please, at least try to parse the a/s/l responses
Cannons are the number one cause of being late
Went on a 40 mile pigeon ride last Sunday cause i gotta do some training for the “hub on wheels” thing I signed up for. Nothing too exciting happened until I biked by a dilapidated outdoor stage. The stage had a shirtless man sitting on it drinking what looked like a 40, a few feet away from the man lay a cat. The cat was sun bathing. Here is that performance. Volume will need to be adjusted to hear what he was saying to me.
Next, here is an old video of me frightening a young woman. This is a good one to watch frame by frame, but you cant do that using the crappy player I use. Just imagine it
I am really happy that Boston finally put in a bike lane on Brookline ave. Before it was there I felt like I was risking my life every time I had to ride on the stretch between bestbuy and Longwood ave. I ride there 5 days a week.
Now that there is a bike lane and things aren’t so scary, but all is not well. ’Paul Revere’ LMA Shuttle buses have been parking in the bike lane for months now. The other day I noticed that the entire street is lined with ‘No parking’ signs that would be pretty hard to miss.
Today there was a bus in the bike lane again, and he was not safe to pass, so I decided to ask the driver why he was parked there…
Can someone explain to me how this can be legal?
Here is a picture of Steve when he had some sweet goggles on:
Riding along another beantown bootcamp workout:
I was biking along today and met a nice man handing out those christian brochures. I was taking some from him so I could give them to other people who also didn’t want them.
We started talking about religion… He was trying to convert me to Christianity and I was telling him the truth, that Jesus was actually a house cat.
Here is the video:
Here are some things that happened to Steve last month. Some girls freaking out:
A pigeon is a dangerous bird. I should be careful..
“Thats fucked up” – Spoken with so much conviction!
I have some more amazing shit coming up that ive been too lazy to upload. Stay tuned!
I won my first race the other day. I am very proud of myself, even though I clearly had more training than my competitors*. More on that later…
I also filmed the police! I needed to get on that shit with all the videos of filming the police going viral. So here is my police filming video (it wont go viral because im too lazy to put it on youtube):
I saved the best for last. Here is my triumphant race win. I have wanted to race someone up beacon hill for a while. My best time is 57 seconds from bottom to top, but i digress, here is a shorter race that I won recently.
* – I had just one competitor, because everyone else was to afraid to race against me.
Some guy thought that Steve was real for longer than the usual 2-3 seconds. Some times people never figure out that he is dead/fake, but I dont have a video of that yet.
In other news, one of my friends (who once built a really cool robot) is working on a project to make treads (like on a tank) that you could put on anything (like a couch). I think its a pigonride worthy cause, so you should go give him some of your beer money: http://www.gofundme.com/intreadible
And here is that video:
On my way home from work I ride under the Brooks courthouse where I often see Beantown Bootcamp doing their workouts. John, the guy who leads the bootcamp recently told me that he had bought some of George Washington’s artwork. The other day he was kind enough to show me a picture of one of the artworks that he had on his phone.
The art is pretty good, my only regret is inadvertently causing 20 people to “bear crawl”.